Shiloh stood in the mirror putting the finishing touches on her makeup and the final pins in her up do. She sang along to DVSN’s If I Get Caught while doing a quick once over in her bedroom full length mirror.
“If I get caught cheating; That don’t mean I don’t love you,” she sang aloud to the mirror.
Pleased with her denim shorts, orange crop top, hot pink blazer, and gold strappy sandals, she grabbed her keys and walked out the door. It was a pleasant 65 degree spring day and Shiloh was headed to meet Kris for lunch. She was so excited to meet up with him simply because they always have good conversation, he’s funny, handsome, and most importantly – honest.
“Good afternoon, beautiful!” Kris said as he stood and wrapped an arm around Shiloh’s waist. She smiled and hugged him back placing a quick kiss on his cheek before they pulled apart. He’d already ordered drinks and the waiter was placing salad on the table when she arrived.
They ate good food and had amazing conversation the entire time. That was one of the characteristics Shiloh really liked about Kris. He would always have something valuable to add to any conversation. He stimulated her mentally and never stifled her creative flow.
“At first, I thought I wanted dessert, but I can’t eat another bite of food,” Shiloh said leaning back in her chair.
“Yea, I still want dessert though. Guess I got to eat you. Let’s get outta here Shi.”
Several hours later, Shiloh woke up to the sounds of a thunderstorm and Kris wrapped around her in the most intimate way. She moved a bit to check the time. The digital analog clock across the room read 2:17am. Kris pulled her back close, kissed the back of her shoulder and said, “Not yet baby.” Shiloh smiled and slid back into that warm space designated for her.
Earlier, when they made it to his house, Kris made cocktails and they sat on the couch talking, cuddling and eventually watching Living Single. It was simple and exactly how Shiloh wanted to spend her Saturday. So dozing back off to the sounds of the thunderstorm in his arms was a no brainer.
Shiloh woke up seven hours later to no Kris and the smell of coffee. She got up and grabbed one of his graphic tees from the 3rd drawer on the right and headed for the kitchen. Kris was making breakfast while Duke Ellington played on his record player. He loved music. Because Kris was younger than Shiloh, she was always impressed by his taste in music. She stood in the doorway and watched him cook and dance around the kitchen. Without turning around he said, “Good morning, Shi.”
She giggled and asked, “How’d you know I was back here?”
“Cause I can feel you girl! We’re connected and shit!” he said as he danced over to her, grabbed her hand and spun her into his arms.
“Nah but for real, I could smell you. You’re wearing Bal D’ Afrique. My favorite. You remembered.”
She had remembered and he is exactly the reason she wore it. After breakfast and a couple more rounds in the living room and shower, Shiloh told Kris she had to leave. She spent most of Saturday with him and started her Sunday with him. Her momma would have a fit if she knew what Shiloh replaced her Sunday morning service with today. It’s just that whenever she could end and begin a week with Kris was always a plus.
Kris walked Shiloh to her car and told her to have an amazing week. She kissed him and they both agreed to link up Thursday. He kissed her deeply then patted her on the butt. She slid inside her car with a slight smile on her face, and went ahead and got her Bluetooth connected. Music flowed through the car as she pulled off.
On the drive home she thought back to how Kris had bound her wrists to her knees and she giggled and quivered. Just then her car told her she had a text notification and snapped her out of her debaucherous thoughts. She pressed the button on her steering wheel for the text to be read aloud.
“I was hoping I would get to see you yesterday, but didn’t hear back from you. I’m free today and need to see you baby. Let me know.”
When Shiloh stopped at a red light, she responded to Alijah’s text, “Dinner.”
The best way to describe Alijah is he’s Shiloh’s secret lover… Her part time lover… Her boyfriend number two. Well, maybe she’s girlfriend number two because he has a girlfriend. He and Shiloh are really good friends… with benefits.
Shiloh made it home and took a hot bath and slipped on yoga pants and her favorite HBCU crop tee. Afterwards she curled up on her sofa with a cup of hot tea and her Jasmin Guillory book when her phone rang. It was Dominick. She smiled slightly out of curiosity.
“Hello?”
“Hey baby! How’s it going?” Dominick asked. He sounded excited about something.
“I’m good. Just chilling on the couch for a bit. How’s Australia?” Dom’s job required him to travel quite a bit, so most of their communication was over the phone unless Shiloh traveled with him.
“It’s beautiful here, but hot. There’s been a few wildfires last week.”
Shiloh and Dominick have done this song and dance for about 7 months. In the beginning, things were fun and flirty, but now it feels like it fizzled out just as quickly as it started. Their conversations went from deep and intentional to surfaced small talk. In all honesty, Shiloh truly liked Dom, but his inconsistencies weren’t something she was interested in keeping track of lately.
“I saw on the news that the wildfires in Australia were getting pretty intense. They cancelled a couple of concerts there last week. Are you ok babe?” Shiloh was genuinely concerned, but didn’t expect anything deeper than where this conversation was currently.
“Yea, I’m fine baby girl. Listen, I wanted to run something by you. I have to be in Brazil at the end of the month. I’ll be there for 10 days and I want you to come with me. I know the Carnival is on your bucket list, so… What do you think?”
This was one of the characteristics she loved about Dom. When he wasn’t so self-absorbed, he was the sweetest and most spontaneous man. He remembers small details and wants to involve her in his life. Like how he’d text her pictures while he was away on business just so she could still be part of what he had going on there.
“Hell yes, I’m going! I’m so excited babe! I hope your workload isn’t too demanding while we’re there and you get a little time to enjoy the festivities with me. Thank you for thinking of me and including me on this trip. I appreciate you, Dom.”
“Great! I’ll get everything set up and email you the details. So… What are you wearing?” The true Dominick certainly doesn’t waste time does he…
Later than evening, Shiloh was almost done cooking dinner when the doorbell rang. She opened the door to Alijah’s perfect smile set in his beautiful brown face. He walked in and bent down so his 6’4 inch frame could scoop her up in his arms. When he placed her back down, he handed her flowers.
“Alijah! You know how much I love Calla Lilies,” Shiloh gushed as she inhaled the flowers. They both walked to the kitchen where she arranged the flowers in a vase and placed the arrangement on the kitchen island.
“Dinner smells good girl! What did you make?”
“One of your favs. Bourbon glazed salmon fried rice. I bought you more whiskey too. Can you grab it for me?”
Alijah went to grab the decanter from inside her liquor cabinet and placed a kiss on the top of her head before pouring a glass. They sat down to dinner and talked about various topics, but somehow landed on relationships.
“Shiloh?”
“What’s up Alijah?”
“Real talk. If we do this, then what?”
Then I scratch you off my to do list. That’s what. Shiloh thought. What in the hell did he mean by “if we do this”? The problem with when men make statements like this, is if women aren’t careful, we’ll mistake comments like this for a man expressing how he truly feels about us. Lies. It has nothing to do with the woman and everything to do with him realizing in this moment that he’s not in control of this situation.
To buy herself some time, Shiloh said, “I’m not sure I understand the question baby.”
“You’re the only one, since my mother, who gets me. I get to be myself around you and that’s real important to me. Shiloh I want to be able to tell everybody you’re my girl because that’s how good you make a nigga feel. I get to see how much better I can be through your eyes, baby. So I guess I’m saying, if I pull the trigger, can we make this work?”
Alijah already looked tense and now she was possibly about to make it worse.
“Jah, let’s pump the breaks. I’m not asking you to leave your girl. I’ve never asked you for that. I knew what this was when you told me about her. What we have feels like what you described because we aren’t doing life together. We’re not paying bills and raising children. This…” she pointed back and forth between the two of them, “what we’re doing… comes with no responsibilities. I care about you like crazy, and you know that. I look forward to your phone calls and the time we get to spend together no matter how limited it may be, but the truth is I wouldn’t trust you.”
Alijah looked confused. “Trust me? I wouldn’t hurt you baby. You know that.”
“Alijah, what I know is what you show me. How easily you run to me when your girl isn’t meeting a need, and that’s been a pattern for you. You got with her while you were still in your last relationship. I’m not looking to be your escape plan or to settle down right now. I’m enjoying dating. We’re all dating to have our needs met, not just a need met. The main reason I’m single now is because I haven’t found the person who meets all or most of my needs.”
Shiloh told Alijah all of this while holding his hands at her dinner table. He brought her hand up to his face and kissed her knuckles. “Girl you are something else with yourself, you know that?”
“Jah, I love you, and I hope this doesn’t change anything. If it does, I understand and I’ll always respect any decision you make.” She leaned over to kiss him and he didn’t mind.
Shiloh got up to clear the table and Alijah got up to help her. She heard a notification on her phone and went to check it.
It was Dom. “Busy?”
“Having dinner right now, can I call you a little later?”
She put her phone down and went back to the kitchen. Alijah was loading the dishwasher and she walked up behind him and massaged his shoulders. Come with me. She grabbed his hand and led him out back. When they stepped onto the patio she told him to take his shoes off.
They stood in the grass barefoot staring into one another’s eyes with his arms around her and her hands on his biceps. She leaned up to kiss him and said, “I only need you in this moment with me.” Shiloh sat on a chair and asked Alijah to sit on the ground between her legs.
He sat in the grass and she pulled his shirt over his head. Shiloh massaged his shoulders. Alijah closed his eyes and let the setting sun warm his body. She rubbed his neck and chest. His body swaying with her as she found a rhythm to release the tension from his body. She ran both hands down his arms, massaging along the way. She kissed the side of his face, then his ear, then his neck. A trinity. He met her fourth kiss with her lips and they lingered there awhile longer. She broke away long enough to suggest they move to the hammock, where they lay in silence and watched the sunset.
“Shiloh, it’s getting late baby.”
“Yea, you need to head out. Go shower first though. You don’t need to leave here smelling like another woman!” They laughed and Alijah headed to the shower.
Shiloh grabbed her phone to scroll through her socials. She had two texts from Dom and one from Kris.
“What’s for dinner?” “I really miss you, baby.” Those were both from Dominick.
She typed a quick reply. “I had salmon and rice. Something quick and simple. I miss you too. I miss us.”
Shiloh felt like she had been saying that to Dominick a lot lately, and it came a little too close to begging for her to be comfortable with it.
Kris texted a photo of Shiloh asleep in his bed with the voiceover saying, “Boy we had a time last night.” She laughed out loud just as Alijah walked out of the bathroom.
“What’s so funny baby?” He asked.
“I’m scrolling through these TikTok videos. Ready?”
She walked him to the door and kissed him goodnight.
“I love you girl. For real.”
“Jah. I love you back and I love what we have – the way we have it. Don’t stress about this. I’m not going anywhere baby.”
He smiled and kissed her forehead before leaving.
Shiloh locked up, turned on her alarm and headed to her bedroom to get some rest.
Right when she was about to try to unwind, her phone rang. It was her best friend Staci.
“Hello?”
“Hi girl! Are you by yourself?” Staci asked.
“I am now.” Shiloh responded.
“Finally! Ok heifa start with Friday! I already got my popcorn ready!”
They laughed hysterically as Shiloh started recapping her weekend fun.
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