In somebody’s business…

I’ve been trying to post this since 9/14. Didn’t quite know how to go about, so how about being straight forward. A couple of nights ago on the Tyra Banks Show, she discussed the Teen Pregnancy Issues that are plaguing our society. Which was ironic because this is what this post is about.

I often times collaborate with my cousins because we are all educators. Outside of trying to make sense of some of these “unique” names & spellings, we actually discuss many of the issues that our students face. I have a cousin, let’s call her Susan, who works in the school system as a specialist. Her job is to get her students prepared for college. She has to follow her children, and this required her to travel from the middle school to the high school this year. She has a fourteen-year-old female student, let’s call her Marsha, that she is particularly fond of, we [educator’s] always have one or two. Susan is close to the family and allows Marsha to go along on family events with her! Often times we reach out to the kids we know need the attention. Marsha had written a letter for Susan and rather than give the letter to Susan she left it home-hidden not so discreetly. Marsha’s grandmother (who she lives with) found the letter and immediately called Susan. The grandmother asked Susan to be honest when she asked her if she knew that Marsha was pregnant and had not told her! How many lives do we know were shattered that day?

When confronted, Marsha broke down and admitted to being twenty-six weeks pregnant. She was too afraid and too ashamed to tell anyone, and I’m assuming thought the problem would simply go away. Marsha’s father, who is in jail for drug trafficking, told the grandmother where to find money to make the problem go away. He stated that when he got out of jail, he still wanted his little girl to be a little girl. (Those of us reading are already aware that it was too late for that right?) In order to “make this problem go away” dad had to pay $7000 and Grandmom, Marsha, & Susan had to travel to Kansas City.

I’m so torn as to how to feel about this situation. I don’t know if it’s because I just gave birth that it bothers me for a baby that could have survived (it is possible for a twenty-six week fetus to survive) to be aborted. I understand dads perspective too. I’m also aware that this fourteen year old BABY is experiencing some things that we definitely want to protect her from experiencing this early. I thought why not adoption? Because of how far along she was, she had to give birth anyway. The story about the procedure was so scary!

Tyra told her young guests that the reproductive system was a beautiful thing, but it wasn’t going anywhere and they has time to enjoy childhood before worrying about putting those organs to use! We’re faced with this on-going problem and I’m torn about how I would react if it were my daughter, niece, cousin, or sister. How would you?

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. alisha9
    Sep 27, 2008 @ 15:51:22

    One thought. . . if she waited 26 weeks to tell somebody, she wanted to keep the baby. Has anybody asked her how she felt. . . without projecting their personal feelings onto her?

    Reply

  2. brownsugar5
    Sep 27, 2008 @ 16:31:55

    Lisa: Not sure about that one. I felt that way when I realized her grandmother “found” the letter. This story bothered me so much. Guess that’s why it took me so long to post it.

    Reply

  3. tcakes
    Sep 29, 2008 @ 18:41:43

    Why was she able to reach six months without anybody knowing?! Possible yes, but very unlikely. I was grown and all of six weeks pregnant, and my aunt knew. I didn’t even know yet! The really bad part is that I didn’t even live with her.

    “I want my baby to still be my baby when I get out”. Somebody needs to tell jailbird that he can’t make up for lost time! If he really was as concerned of a parent as he is trying to portray, he would have gotten a JOB, and provided for his child like all the rest of society has to do. He is selfishly looking out for self, not the well-being of his daughter.

    Of course my inquiring mind HAD to know how you abort a baby 26 weeks into gestation, don’t look, you don’t want to know! One day, this child is gonna look back to see, if she hasn’t already done it, what exactly was done. Nobody can live with the guilt like she can… UGH! That doesn’t make me sad, it makes me ANGRY!

    Reply

  4. brownsugar5
    Oct 12, 2008 @ 19:22:04

    Tcakes: Didn’t we have people talking all under our clothes when we were pregnant and knew before we even knew!

    Yea the dad was way left field for that comment and condoning the procedure simply stripped her of her childhood a little bit more.

    The procedure hurt my heart when I learned what it consisted of, and I don’t think my adult-self could handle that, much less a child! Often times children are able to block traumatic things from their memories and not live with the pain, I don’t think this will be one of those experiences for her.

    Reply

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