In the Business of Cleansing

Today was shaping up to be a very productive day! My husband made breakfast before leaving for work this morning (somebody look at your neighbor and say a breakthrough is coming your way), and I was able to slightly cure my touch of cabin fever when I took my son to the doctor for his two-week check up. The doctor (who by the way is a dear soror of mine) said that the boy looks great! He’s 8lb and 10 oz now!!! To celebrate, I bought myself a coke! I hadn’t had one since the beginning of my pregnancy! (Told you to look at your neighbor and speak that breakthrough into existence)

I got home, got lunch for the kids and myself and put them both down for a nap. Then it hit me… You know, the only way depression can-like a ton a bricks. I looked at the calendar and realized that it was September 9th. It was sixteen years ago today when my father passed. I almost can’t believe how affected I am. I’ve done so much, more than what most people thought I would accomplish, and he’s the one person I would love to share it all with. I have a family and kids I’m sure he would spoil, like only grandfathers can. I’m sure he would be exactly like his dad, Granddaddy always had change in his pockets for the grandkids. Didn’t that change seem like it could buy the world back then? (It probably could until Bush got in office)

Don’t really know how to feel about it all, or how to pull myself out of this funk. Guess it doesn’t help that I have Luther’s song Dance with My Father playing. The title of the picture displayed is Cleansing Tears. I’m going to sleep now.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. tcakes
    Sep 09, 2008 @ 21:41:41

    Snatched the words right from me! Do you have my password? JK. I have a similar post that is still in draft form about grief… I’ve been kind of sleeping on it, unsure if I wanted to divulge some of my innermost thoughts. Isn’t it something how the pain NEVER goes away, it may dull, but it is still there. It’s just like you said, the things you do and have done, you would like to share with them and have them be apart of… I guess the main way to do that with them being gone, is to just LIVE!

    Good one Brown Sug!!!


  2. alisha9
    Sep 10, 2008 @ 00:10:12

    **long sigh then deep breath**


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