Life Business

First let me start by wishing my little rolly-polly a happy five months old today!!!

Now to the issue at hand…Webster (okay, it’s not webster, it’s whatever dictionary program I have on my laptop, the mac dictionary person) defines insecure as not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious.

This one word is the sole purpose of this post. As a child, my mom called me a pack-rat. I never knew why she would say that until I got to college. I keep so many things for the memories. I realized that this trait developed shortly after my father died; I had problems letting go of “things.” I was afraid that if I lost that item, I would lose that memory. Around the time I lost my father, I also lost several family members. I felt that people were too fickle, so I kept “things” in shoe boxes and drawers. I can define things as letters, cards, emails, I have a ton (literally) of photos from high school, college, and it looks like I took a photo EVERYDAY of my first daughter. I truly enjoy sitting down and going through these things reading, laughing, and remembering where I was at that part of my life! I am very aware that I am no longer the person I once was, but I am still that person. I’m speaking figuratively, someone reading knows what I mean.

Now at my young tender age I am a mother and wife. I live a different lifestyle now than those high school and college photos. Is it wrong of me to still keep those photos although I am married? Did I mention that in high school I dated my husband? Yep, he’s been around quite sometime. Now many of us are blessed with the ability to recollect our pasts, and although we are able, we don’t remember everything.

Being married requires so much transitioning and learning. Sometimes you even give up parts of who you are to make things work. It may be selfish, but there are some things I feel I shouldn’t give up. If they are memories, then let them be, right? I love devoting myself to my 107+ (educators know that even some that you don’t teach somehow become yours) children at work, my two beautiful children at home, and my husband. It gets a little demanding at times, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. All I ask is that I have something to myself, and having something to myself does not necessitate insecurities in my household.

I was told that when you get married, you give up the I’s for we. Does that mean that I give up all of who I am?

I was told to wait until I was 30 to get married. My coach told me that once, now my cousin, who is almost 30, has jumped onto the bandwagon head first! She believes wholeheartedly that she should have listened to our coach and waited until she was 30.

I am aware that I was very vague explaining this situation, but I hope that I have written enough to get some feedback from my fellow bloggers! Nice or harsh, I’d love to hear it!