Courage in women is often mistaken as insanity…

This is hilarious!!!!!! I saw my sister all in this comic strip! Click on the strip to see the entire thing!

Kid Business

I am teaching the novel Nothing but the Truth by Avi this nine weeks. I decided what better time to discuss patriotism and politics! So I found an anticipation guide that had true/false questions, the kids filled it out, then we discussed out answers. Whatever the majority choose, I played devil’s advocate and went with the opposite answer. One of the statements was, It is impossible for a student to get a long-time teacher fired. Some kind of way my fifth period class began to discuss scenarios that may get a teacher fired! So one bright genius says, “Well first you gotta steal a packet of ketchup from the cafeteria. When you get into trouble have to be sure the principal sees the teacher pull you out to talk to you. When the teacher is done fussing, ask to go to the rest room. Rub water on your eyes so it looks like you’ve been crying. Then take the packet of ketchup and dab a bit right under your nose.” How many educators know that I didn’t hear the rest of his plot because I was crying from the laughter?!?!?!?!?!?!

Too much business in our Schools

HIGH SCHOOL

1957 vs. 2007

Scenario 1:

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.

1957 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2007 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2007 – Police called and SWAT team arrives — they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled and sent to alternative school even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1957 – Jeffrey sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 – Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.

2007 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:

Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2007 - Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1957 - Ants die.

2007 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents — and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

This should hit every email inbox to show how stupid we have become!!

Six stages of teaching… Not business related, just the truth!

Phase 1

You are listening to jazz — Your first day at work is great. Your fellow teachers are wonderful, your classroom is cute, you love your students, and your principal is the best!

Phase 2

You are listening to pop music — After a while you are so busy that you are not sure if you’re coming or going anymore.

Phase 3

You are listening to heavy metal — This is what you feel like after ONE month.

Phase 4

You are listening to hip hop — You become bloated due to stress, you’re gaining weight due to lack of exercise because you are so tired and have so much school work to do when you get home, you feel sluggish and suffer from constipation. Your fellow teachers are too cheerful for your liking and the walls of your classroom are closing in. You have started thinking ‘WHATEVER’ about your principal.

Phase 5

You are listening to GANGSTA RAP — After more time passes, your eyes start to twitch, you forget what a ‘good hair day’ feels like as you just fall out of bed and load up on caffeine.

Phase 6

You are listening to the voices in your head — You have locked your classroom door to keep people out, You wonder WHY am I even here in the first place and WHY did I become a teacher!

You don’t even want to know what phase I am currently in now. How bout you?

More School Business

I try to be innovative when it comes to teaching. I want to reach my kids and once I’ve done that I want to challenge them. I teach an enriched language arts course and decided that today, rather than give them the regular grammar warm-up, that I would give them brain teasers! OK, they sucked! How well would you have done?

What word, expression, or name is depicted below?

#1                                           #2                                         #3

timing                                  NE14                                   GR12″AVE

tim ing                                 10s

School Business

Quick post!

OK, so I came back to work this week (look for those details in a future post). I assigned book reports and they are due next Friday. So, one of my little special babies came up to me today and asked if she could turn hers in early. I told her sure! She then told me that her printer was broken but she had it saved on a disk. I told her that would be fine, I could just print it off for her. Ya’ll that baby had a FLOPPY DISK!!!!!!!

Is this the early nineties and no one told me?!?!?!?!?!?! Pray for our school system.

In-house Business

I struggle with knowing what and what not to blog about so that I’m not putting too much in the cyber world. I’m sure I should have run this by Teacakes before posting, but trust me, she’ll state her opinion.

I pride myself on being an approachable, understanding person. Granted, I sometimes have the tendency to make impertinent retorts and I’m learning that when certain words have invaded the ears of others, you can’t take them back. But what I don’t understand is how some people can attack you and stab you in the back when you’ve done absolutely nothing. What makes people point fingers and place blame? What makes people not grow wiser with age? One of my favorite quotes (I may end up doing quite a bit of quoting in the post) is, “It is not by age, but by knowledge that acquires wisdom.” So that explains ignorant old people… I digress. I try to listen to opinions and concerns and take into consideration how they could relate to my everyday life. Be patient , I’m going somewhere with this I promise. If it keeps you interested, I’m speaking about one of my in-laws. The way certain people view you (I did say certain, because most we could care less about) keeps us in check. Just Lisa once told me, “If everywhere you go, everyone is saying the same thing, it might not be everyone else, it might be you.” Deep huh? So I listen and take heed to those that make sense.

Then I realized that a small impressionable group can be infected, you know the saying , one bad apple can ruin the bunch. Well, that’s what happened in my family. Yes, they are in-laws, and as much as I don’t want to admit it, they are still family. The bad apple of the family, which should be the glue that holds the family together infected about five other family members. It was so hurtful and the consequence of her negativity was a huge family blowout! I cannot believe how hateful this particular family member became once she truly realized she could NOT run my household. Because of this “disagreement”, my family (husband and kids) will not be in attendance for holidays and dinners. I just wish that my children didn’t have to suffer from it all. They’re the only victims by not being able to be in the midst of they’re entire family.

Halloween Business…

Halloween is going to suck this year!!!!

Get out of MY BUSINESS

Oh where to begin….

I’ve wanted to blog on this issue for so long, but didn’t know how to be tactful… well, to hell with tactful!

I’m currently on maternity leave and I return to work next week. It will be a very bittersweet moment for me, obviously. Well let’s start at the beginning. I decided to begin my school year so that my kids would know me and I too would know them. I never want to enter a teaching experience like my first. I began teaching 8th grade English right after spring break (imagine my struggle). My team leader thought that it would be a good idea to speak with my principal concerning me standing at my door to greet students as they entered. As a grade level we wanted to all do the same thing. OK that’s cool and all, but 1. I never said that I would stand at my door all morning to greet students, 2. It wasn’t mandatory! Now for all the Harry Wong teachers that just gasped and held your chest wondering “How could she not stand at her door during the first days of school???”, I stood in the middle of the 7th grade hall and did I forget to mention that I was 39 weeks pregnant? Yea, I know.

So my principal calls me down to his office to discuss my duties as a teacher. Yes, I did have attitude when I asked him, “Is that all you called me down here for?” I wanted to scream, I’m having a baby next week and you want me to stand in a *&^&$^$** door? So from that day forward I sat in my door while I called roll, participated in the pledge, and checked dress code. I decided an anal approach would be best!

I decided to go back to work the day I began my maternity leave to meet with my sub, considering I wanted my class to run as smoothly as possibly while I was gone. I had the teacher that I requested!!! I talked with him and went over everything! Gave him my number and wrote down, ran copies, and hole-punched everything I could think of for four hours! As I was walking down to my principals office to discuss my evaluations, he was on his way to my room. We sat in the library and he introduced me to my sub… (insert nails on the chalkboard here) What the hell?!?!?! So, I had to do everything all over again. She picked up on things much slower than the first guy, and I ended up being up there all day! Needless to say she has called me my entire break! Parents have emailed me about her my entire break! Students have emailed me my entire break! Guys, this woman expects me to explain lesson plans to her… Maybe I’m too high strung.

Now who’s to blame here, my principal or the board? Do they even ask for prior teaching experience before teachers hand over their classrooms? I literally have to start all over with these kids! She had the audacity to tell me that kids were not turning in work so she just gave them a 70, but if they scored a 28 on a quiz she recorded that grade!!!! Ya’ll I’m stressed. Teaching used to be one of the most respected professions, now people talk about teaching for the summer vacations! Real teachers actually don’t get a summer vacation!!! AAAAGGGHHH!!!!!